Goals, Stages of Change and Curiosity

It’s January 6th. Last month I made a goal of sending out an email twice a month. One on the first of the month and the second on the 15th. I had to laugh at myself when the 1st of January came and went, and no email was composed despite my best laid out plans. Goal “failure” on the actual holiday that is notorious for resolutions that are quickly made, broken and forgotten about until the next year. Oh, the irony.

January is going to provide you with that moment too. Those goals, they will hit a wall. Something will come up and the action you promised yourself you would take won’t happen. In that moment, you will have a choice. You can either walk away from the goal altogether, or you can get curious about why it did not go as planned and how to approach it differently next time. And when I say next time, I don’t mean next year. I mean at the next moment you are given a choice. That can be the next meal, the next purchase, the next time you get to choose to walk or drive to a walkable location.

There are stages of change we all go through. I will list them briefly here so you can see how they flow and gauge where you are. These are not linear stages. You oscillate through them frequently. If you can normalize bouncing back and forth with the aim of getting 1% better everyday, you will be more likely to reach your long-term goals.

1.       Precontemplation

People in this stage often do not see a problem with behaviors yet. They are not contemplating change at all.

2.       Contemplation

If you are in this stage, you are aware that you might be healthier if you start to make changes. You begin to contemplate what changes you might make and how you might start.

3.       Preparation

Here you start to look for a coach, research types of diets, work out gear, join a gym, download a fitness/health app.

4.       Action

You start to put your plan into action! Here is where you will dance with “remission.” This means you will revert back to old thoughts, habits and actions often. This is when most people quit. It is actually the most valuable spot to be. You can mentally prepare to dance with action and remission for a while. And when I say “a while” think in terms of 1-2 years. Sounds like forever? I know, but you are looking to stay healthy for a lifetime, remember? We don’t do all or nothing crash diets or budgets here at Nourishing Practices. We do sustainable moderation forever.  

5.       Maintenance

This stage is characterized by less and less time bouncing back and forth between action and remission. (Again, think long term. It takes a while to figure out what works for you). 

6.       Termination

This means your new behavior and lifestyle is integrated into your identity and such a part of who you are that returning to old behaviors is at a lower risk. You may eat the doughnut, but you are not at risk of letting that doughnut impact your meal decisions for the rest of the day. You also do not spiral into a self-depreciating mental space and quit your healthy lifestyle. You have developed the skills of realistic expectations and moderation in all things. 

Setting the goal of having an email composed for the first of January would have required me to either write the email in advance (there was no time) or write on vacation with friends and family (a romantic notion, but not one based in reality.) Does this mean that this goal is unrealistic for the rest of January or in the upcoming months? We shall see. If it does not work as planned, that does not mean I need to quit emailing…It means I need to get curious about the barriers that are preventing the action needed. Maybe the dates will simply need to change to the 5tha and the 20th. Maybe the 1st and the 15th of the month have too much going on with bookkeeping and other business obligations. Time will tell. And, at the end of the year, I may not have made every date and deadline, but I will have sent more emails in 2026 than in 2025. And in the end, that is what you and I are working towards, progress. Not perfection.

The feeling of falling behind is a top reason people quit on their goals or quit participating in health and wellness programs. You are never behind. You are exactly where you need to be. There is a lesson for you to learn where you are. The answer is there if you get curious and normalize pivoting and modifying your thoughts, beliefs and actions.     

My name is Heidi and I am a behavior change coach with specialty certifications in health, diabetes prevention, financial wellness and trauma informed care. If you would like some additional help setting goals and some accountability until you get closer to your termination stage of behavior change, get in touch. Schedule a meet and greet call with this link. Let’s Connect!